The training routine, has gotten, admittedly less intense. I suppose that's not really accurate, it's not the routine, actually, that has gotten any less intense but rather me. I suppose this was a pretty standard course of action for me - get close enough to a goal to sniff it, and then back away. There's a reason why people refer to themselves as their own worst enemy. Darth Vader or Megan Fox are easier to vanquish than your inner-desire to fail. I found myself on fumes these last couple of weeks, finding excuse after excuse to fail. I also found myself wishing that The Biggest Loser would come back from hiatus early, so that I could see some fat people with real issues, and Jillian Michaels make them realize that they hated themselves for it. The current course of excuses comes from a good source at least: The Summer Hope Benefit. As I've mention right here in this very blog, The Summer Hope Foundation is the non-profit organization that I founded in 2002, to support the fight against cancer. I make up for starting this non-profit and helping sick people through there difficult times, by not holding the door open for old ladies. Or, at least, not smiling when I do. The world needs balance, and I'm just doing my part to tip the scales back in favor of douchebaggery.
On Friday, September 11th, 2009, The Summer Hope Foundation hosted it's 7th Annual Summer Hope Benefit, united 225 guests together against cancer, raised $55,000 and worked off more pounds than the 40 minutes of cross-training I skipped.
The day was marred by some bad weather, but I got my cardio in, running back and forth to the car to unload dozens of raffle prizes. This is the bread and butter (multi-grain and low-fat of course) of The Summer Hope Benefit every year. We get some kick ass prizes, and people love a good chinese auction. Oh. Wait. Was that racially insensitive? I meant Asian or Pacific Islander Auction. My bad.
As the set-up for the big event progressed, I realized that stress wasn't the weight-loss hinder that many suggest - I must've sweated off a pound or two just trying to make last minute table arrangements. This was going to be a great day for weight loss and my cardiologist alike!
A few short hours later, and it was time for myself and the esteemed board of The Summer Hope Foundation to get ready, so I took the stairs two at a time to the Bridal Suite where we would be turning from pumpkins into slightly better looking squash. I grabbed my tux with a hint of resentment and started to get dressed.
You see, earlier in the week, I decided I needed to get my tux altered. Well, of course I did - I hadn't even tried it on since the previous September. And I'm not sure if you all have noticed, but I've been looking pretty dashing lately - and trim! I decided to head to Men's Wearhouse, where I originally bought the suit from and demand the tailor adjust the tux immediately. I said as much to the young kid working the counter, and he dismissed me as a problem customer and told me to put the tux on and he'd get the tailor out from the back to work on all the alterations. I stressed the importance of getting this done in a quick fashion - after all the entire thing would need to be taken in.
The only problem? I hadn't actually tried the tux on, I was just assuming that it would be too big on me. And you know what happens when we assume, right? You make an ass out of yourself. And your mom. Or something. You could imagine my fat guy in a little suit shock when I was in the dressing room, and slipped the tux on perfectly. Like a glove. Not an inch to take in or let out.
I stood in the dressing room, staring out myself in disbelief - realizing that I hadn't so much lost any weight, but rather gained and lost the same 25 pounds over the course of the previous year. I looked around the closet sized dressing room, and remembered I had some gum and chap-stik in my pocket - I could feasibly live in there forever, because exiting the dressing room really wasn' t much of an option at this point.
Unfortunately, the store clerk began to worry about me, and questioned my existence. I was tempted to claim hysterical deafness or accuse him of molesting me, to get the spotlight off my waistline and fallen ego. Instead, I decided to go the crazy route. I left the dressing room in a fit of hysterical laughter: "No, no, no, it fits fine. Perfect." Long, confused pause. "You must think I'm a real maniac." Nothing throws someone off your madness scent like beating them to the punch. I think, however, the results speak for themselves:
As I dressed for the big event (complete with new bow tie, cumber bun and shoes, which I bought in a fit of guilt and embarrassment) I steeled myself for what was about to be the biggest life in my toddler Summer Hope's young existence.
The night was an unabashed, easily our best ever. One of the focus' of the evening's speeches was the NYC Marathon and the fundraising for Fred's Team. In fact, my Lil' Buddy Kerry, gave a great speech about running the NYC Marathon for Fred's Team at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and working at Cold Spring Harbor Labs.
Unfortunately, when it was my turn to speak it didn't go so well. I'm a pretty good orator - comfortable, natural and happy to be in front of a crowd. However, the pressure, stress and general sadness of the night overwhelmed me and I had what can only be described as a complete emotional breakdown in front of 225 guests. Generally, I like to have my emotional breakdowns by myself in the shower or the side of the road (you know, like a normal person), but it was not quite an option this night. I was taken over by the night and all that we had accomplished. It was also the first time, I publicly declared my intentions to run the NYC Marathon, and the weight of that laid heavy on me.
On the bright side, I think that people thought if they didn't slip into their pockets for another few bucks that I might lock them in the ballroom using just my mind and bring the place to a bloody in. Win-win.
Like what you are reading? Show me the love by donating to my Fred's Team NYC Marathon Page!
https://fredsteam.mskcc.org/fundraising/Controller?action=userHome&user_id=40160&event_id=128
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