As you'll notice, when these postings start getting sporadic that means, that I'm falling off the wagon. I realize that is an overly dramatic way of saying "fat" or "hungry" or "lazy" but my addiction to my couch, NYC Prep and Domino's Pasta Bread Bowls is no less severe, dangerous and all consuming than a drug addict's addiction to prescription pain meds. Look at how that ended for Michael Jackson... Too soon?
To be fair, in a sea of unrealistic goals that I've set for myself, thinking that I was capable of posting updates on my marathon training is much more ludicrous than thinking I'm capable of running 26.2 miles. I continued working out Tuesday and Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday took a pass, while swapping my Saturday long run for Sunday. In addition to skipping those workouts, I decided to eat everyday like I was being served my final meal before hitting the gas chamber. It was a real mess. If Courtney Love had found me face down in a pool of spray can cheddar cheese, she would've been grateful that her life was so well put together. But as I've learned over the last 28 years of shopping in the husky department (damn, you Kids R Us, for your segregation!) it's not what happens when you slip, it's how quickly you get back up. I know that seems very Oprah of me, but every time I've attempted to get into shape or diet, the second I slip up, it's all over. This time, it was different. After taking three days of hedonism off, I went on my second long run of my marathon training.
Before I get into the embarrassing details, I'd like to give a couple of shout outs: 1) To Meggy B., a mutual friend of mine and running buddy/enabler Jilly, for taking the marathon plunge, as well, this year! She's all signed up to run the marathon for Charity Runner, via the American Cancer Society. Check out her page and donate to support her run: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/DetermiNation/CRFY09Eastern?px=12098172&pg=personal&fr_id=19037
2) I got my very first fan mail! A friend of a friend of a friend saw my post on a Facebook wall, and gave me some great running tips and awesome song suggestions. Obviously, I already think that I am a well-known local celebrity, but now i have a burgeoning fan base in Pennsylvania. So for that, I thank you Maria, wherever you are!
Sunday morning, I awoke in the Hamptons at my cousin, Johnny & Jessica's house, by their six year old daughter Jackie at 7 am, who along with stealing a few hours sleep has also stolen my heart. My cousin's wife Jessica, was going on a run with my cousin Julie and aunt Taki, that I was supposed to join them on. It wasn't happening. This led me to believe that the likelihood of getting back on the training train, would be impossible. However, I've decided that I'm not yet comfortable running with other people, as I don't quite think I'm up to par with other runners. Telling people how badly I suck at running is one thing - them seeing it is quite another.
My sister Lola and I left Johnny & Jess' rather abruptly, as my stomach had been doing back flips since the previous night's hamburgers (which were delicious, I just should realize that properly digesting food, is no longer in my skillset). I got home and immediately took a nap, as has been my motif everyday this week now that my events at work are over. I awoke around 5 pm, and bummed around the house, for hours until I realized if I didn't run today, I would never run again. And then I'd never run the marathon. And I'd be a failure. And I would never lose weight. And I'd never find a girlfriend, get married or have kids. And I'd default on my student loans. And never solve the energy crisis. I realized, it was in the best interest of the country, or even the world, for me to just strap on my new shoes (bought them on Wednesday - siiiiiick) and head to the streets.
And so I did. There are no really great places to run by my apartment, but realized that I could literally waste the rest of the night trying to figure out the perfect running path. So I laced my Nike + iPod chip into my sneakers (suck it, Apple!) and decided to just run on the shoulder of the service road of the expressway, which happened to be outside my apartment.
It was a six mile long run, by far the furthest I'd ever run. This past week, I had been pushing myself to a 12 minute mile, which is a pace that I'd ultimately like to keep at the marathon. However, I knew that wouldn't be realistic in my second week of training. I've also decided that my grim determination on running this marathon would have to be altered. It's great to picture myself as Ryan Reynolds, but the truth of the matter is I'm more of a Paul Giamatti. I just want to FINISH the marathon. WIth that mindset, some of the pressure has been lifted.
I also don't think planning to RUN 26.2 miles is really likely. It'd be great. But let's be honest, I'm going to have to walk. Things might change as I continue to lose weight, but I'm not too sure. Those two new asterisks added to my mental training guide, I decided to pace myself based on music. Run two songs, walk one song. Run one song, walk one song. Run until the next mile is completed. Etc.
It worked out okay. I forgot to stretch, and hadn't really drank any water or eaten anything all day, which looking back was sort of dangerous. It resulted in a very so-so 13:48 average mile. It's slightly faster than I had been running, but way above the 12 minute miles I was putting up at the gym earlier in the week. But at least I saw improvement. Next week's 7 miler, I'm hoping for something closer to a 13 minute mile.
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
Bloodshot - Jack's Mannequin
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Real Love (remix) - Mary J. Blige
Revelry - Kings of Leon
Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer
Several Ways to Die Trying - Dashboard Confessional
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
Know Your Enemy - Green Day
Outta Here - Esmee Denters
I Want You - Kings of Leone
Last Nite - The Strokes
Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks
Sober - Kelly Clarkson
MFEO - Jack's Mannequin
I Will Never Be The Same - Melissa Etheridge
Ego (remix) - Beyonce
Get Back - Demi Lovato
Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
The Workout:
6.01 miles / 1:23:05 / 13:48 per mile / 945 Calories burned
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Read more!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Day 8: Lucky No. 13
With one full-week of marathon training under the flap of fat that sticks over my belt, I was feeling pretty confident about my 40 minutes of running that I had to accomplish today, even though my first long run was a near disaster. First, I'd like to report the most stunning news since the announcement of Jon & Kate Plus Eight on Alternating Weekends. My beef with iPod + Nike is officially over. Or at least temporarily suspended. Thanks to Tata, and a running store in Hoboken, NJ, I've been using my iPod + Nike chip with my new iPhone with very little drama. Granted the thing has yet to properly calibrate, but I hope to remedy that with Tuesday's workout. I will, of course, keep you posted. Second, I really like the new Mariah Carey song. Third, I had a kick-ass workout on Monday. Like I said, I was feeling deceptively good about my work out prospects on Monday. For the first time all week, I wasn't dreading the workout, as if it were something that some evil person forced upon me like torture or the Kardashian Family. I really felt like this was the first work out I was in some small way looking forward to. It was also the first time during the week that getting up and down from the seated position didn't feel like a thousand Spider Monkeys biting at my groin. So that was a plus. All that and I had finally solved the chaffing issue - which I assume was the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about (solution=Under Armour underwear, in case you were wondering or fantasizing).
Of course, as with anything with me, there were a few hurdles to overcome. This week, being sort of a wrap-up week at work (and the week before my much needed staycation), I was able to leave early. This should've led to an earlier work out, but instead led to a nap from 2:30 pm - 6:30 pm. I'm a big napper - it's the one thing I'm good at - and this one was epic. It started slowly and subtly at the couch, before I dragged myself into bed and full-on under my covers. Four hours later it took all the will I could muster, because I very much got the impression that I could've slept through the night if I didn't force myself out of bed.
Upon arising, I dicked around for a few hours, until I realized it was after 9:30 pm and I still hadn't head out on the road. Since my area is pretty dark, and I'm still pretty new to it, I decided to head to the gym. I'll admit, I did start my workout walking on the treadmill and making a playlist. After that, I decided, just for kicks, to set the speed on the treadmill to an average pace of 12 minutes per mile, which is 2 minutes faster than I've been running. I thought it would last one song, perhaps two. However, I kept the pace for the remaining 30 minutes of the workout, running two 12-minute miles, for a total of just over 3 miles and an average pace of 13 minutes per mile. Now this isn't very impressive to the outsider, but hopefully to those of you who have been reading along at home (hi mom!), you see the strides I'm making. Now granted, it took just about all my strength and energy to make this run happen, and to last the entirety of it, but it's much closer to a respectable time. If I can get myself to an average pace of 12 minutes per mile, I'd be a happy boy running the marathon in 5 hours and 15 minutes. We'll see how the rest of the week goes...
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
I was in a very contemplative mood Monday, I don't know why. My songs are all sort of downers, but apparently it was the right kind of motivation.
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
Up to the Mountain (live) - Kelly Clarkson
Break Your Heart (live) - Barenaked Ladies
To Love Somebody - The Bee Gees
One - Mary J. Blige feat. U2
Save You - Kelly Clarkson
Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event
The Food:
926 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 321 average burn with activities = 1247 total daily calorie loss
Bottom Line: You consumed 2185 and burned 321 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 1247 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 205 calories. At this rate you will be losing about 5¾oz daily, or about 2.5lb each week, or about 10.7lb monthly.
Day Highlights
You've burned 321.0 calories!
Congratulations: 12g of sat fat is less than 7% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Congratulations: 0g of trans fat is less than 1% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Low cholesterol: 159mg, staying under 300mg.
You consumed 4338mg of sodium; the recommended range is 1,500 - 2,300mg.
The Workout:
The Video:
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Monday, June 22, 2009
Day 7: The Long and Winding Run
Sunday was my first long run. Something about long and run don't quite flow freely from my lips, so I'd really like to call it my first Bunny Snuggle, or some such thing. But no matter what I try to do, there's no denying the fact that I am, like or not, training for a marathon, and that long runs will be involved. It's an ugly truth that there is just no denying.
I had delusions of grandeur this past weekend, when I signed up to run a 5 mile Prostate Cancer charity run at Central Park for Father's Day with Jilly. After a misadventure driving into the city on Friday to register for the race, I realized late Saturday night that a 7 am trip into Manhattan was never going to happen.
Saturday, I had my last Relay For Life event, and I spent the bulk of the day (12 hours-plus) in the rain on a field at a Unitarian congregation (I love my job, but it can be a little weird at times). By the time I got home it was after midnight and I realized that this long run was going to have to take place somewhere that, unfortunately, wasn't supporting prostate cancer. It was a blow to colonoscopies everywhere, but it was necessary. There was no way I'd be able to wake up, none the less run.
Being that I was expected in Hicksville at my parents house to wish Big Ed a happy Father's Day, I decided to take the path at Cedar Creek Park that follows the Wantagh Parkway to Jones Beach. The rain was coming and going and I thought it would be just the kind of quasi-movie moment I needed for inspiration.
The run was okay. I'm just not in good shape. That's the bottom line here. I struggled after the second mile and I walked, possibly more than I ran. At this point, I'm realizing how much this is a mental game. I realize that more often than not, I'm stopping, because something clicks in my mind. Regardless, I was still on my 14 minute mile pace for 5 miles, which again, is nothing to brag about, but if I keep that bare minimum, I'll still finish the marathon in under 6 1/2 hours. My goal is to run something closer to a 12 minute mile. Sorry, I don't have a ton of funny things to say today...
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
Feeling Good (live) - Adam Lambert
Besides being an embarrassingly huge fan of American Idol, I enjoy running to American Idol songs, because they are short and it helps with my attention span. I felt I needed to justify the existence of this on my iPod.
I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson
Knock You Down - Keri Hilson
When Love Takes Over - Kelly Rowland
No Boundaries - Kris Allen
There's really no excuse for this one though...
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Save You - Kelly Clarkson
Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester
Don't Stop Believin' - The Glee Cast
Under Control - Parachute
Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks
I Know, I Know, I Know - Tegan & Sara
Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event
The Food:
1466 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 804 average burn with activities = 2270 total daily calorie loss
Bottom Line: you consumed 1645 and burned 804 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 2270 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 1183 calories.
At this rate you will be losing about 11oz daily, or about 4.5lb each week, or about 19.5lb monthly.
Day Highlights
You've burned 804.0 calories!
Congratulations: 6g of sat fat is less than 7% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Congratulations: 0g of trans fat is less than 1% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Low cholesterol: 172mg, staying under 300mg.
Low sodium: 1810mg of sodium, staying under 2,300mg.
Include at least 5 grams of fiber in your breakfast to help meet fiber and weight control goals.
The Workout:
5 miles / 14 minute-miles
The Picture:
NOPE!
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I had delusions of grandeur this past weekend, when I signed up to run a 5 mile Prostate Cancer charity run at Central Park for Father's Day with Jilly. After a misadventure driving into the city on Friday to register for the race, I realized late Saturday night that a 7 am trip into Manhattan was never going to happen.
Saturday, I had my last Relay For Life event, and I spent the bulk of the day (12 hours-plus) in the rain on a field at a Unitarian congregation (I love my job, but it can be a little weird at times). By the time I got home it was after midnight and I realized that this long run was going to have to take place somewhere that, unfortunately, wasn't supporting prostate cancer. It was a blow to colonoscopies everywhere, but it was necessary. There was no way I'd be able to wake up, none the less run.
Being that I was expected in Hicksville at my parents house to wish Big Ed a happy Father's Day, I decided to take the path at Cedar Creek Park that follows the Wantagh Parkway to Jones Beach. The rain was coming and going and I thought it would be just the kind of quasi-movie moment I needed for inspiration.
The run was okay. I'm just not in good shape. That's the bottom line here. I struggled after the second mile and I walked, possibly more than I ran. At this point, I'm realizing how much this is a mental game. I realize that more often than not, I'm stopping, because something clicks in my mind. Regardless, I was still on my 14 minute mile pace for 5 miles, which again, is nothing to brag about, but if I keep that bare minimum, I'll still finish the marathon in under 6 1/2 hours. My goal is to run something closer to a 12 minute mile. Sorry, I don't have a ton of funny things to say today...
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
Feeling Good (live) - Adam Lambert
Besides being an embarrassingly huge fan of American Idol, I enjoy running to American Idol songs, because they are short and it helps with my attention span. I felt I needed to justify the existence of this on my iPod.
I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson
Knock You Down - Keri Hilson
When Love Takes Over - Kelly Rowland
No Boundaries - Kris Allen
There's really no excuse for this one though...
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Save You - Kelly Clarkson
Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester
Don't Stop Believin' - The Glee Cast
Under Control - Parachute
Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks
I Know, I Know, I Know - Tegan & Sara
Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event
The Food:
1466 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 804 average burn with activities = 2270 total daily calorie loss
Bottom Line: you consumed 1645 and burned 804 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 2270 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 1183 calories.
At this rate you will be losing about 11oz daily, or about 4.5lb each week, or about 19.5lb monthly.
Day Highlights
You've burned 804.0 calories!
Congratulations: 6g of sat fat is less than 7% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Congratulations: 0g of trans fat is less than 1% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Low cholesterol: 172mg, staying under 300mg.
Low sodium: 1810mg of sodium, staying under 2,300mg.
Include at least 5 grams of fiber in your breakfast to help meet fiber and weight control goals.
The Workout:
5 miles / 14 minute-miles
The Picture:
NOPE!
Like what you are reading? Show me the love by donating to my Fred's Team NYC Marathon Page! https://fredsteam.mskcc.org/fundraising/Controller?action=userHome&user_id=40160&event_id=128 Read more!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Day 5 & 6: The Beginning of the End?
Look, world, I have the Tummies. Get off my back. I'm only human! Starting Thursday night around midnight (after my Long Beach run when I visited Kerry, my Lil' Buddy, at her apt. and had a snack of PB & saltines) through most of Friday and Saturday, I had some major stomach cramping. This is something that happens fairly often to me, the cause of which is unknown (although, I currently suspect sympathy food aversions, since my work wife, Michelle is pregnant). Something I'm eating causes my stomach and intestines to basically close-up shop for a few hours, and leads me to feel what I can only assume is what Gizmo feels just before the Gremlins start popping out of his body. Anyone who knows me knows how terrifying this is for me, as Gremlins are my greatest fear. This malady led me to skip my Friday workout, because I didn't eat anything all day Friday, for fear of angering the Tummy Gods with another stomach cramping episode. Saturday's 5-mile long run, I switched with Sunday's rest day. I had my LAST Relay For Life event on Saturday (congratulations, Manhasset!) and was up on my feet running around a soggy field for 12 hours. My first long run, gulp, we'll see how it goes! I also hope that you all appreciate how open and honest this blog is and how little shame I have.
Read more!
Day 4: Beachside
It was a mediocre day in the life of training, when I had to run my fourth day of training. It was Thursday and I had a meeting in the afternoon, a meeting that evening and an early meeting on Friday. I'm SOOOOO busy! So when faced with the prospect of another day of running, I knew I'd need that little something extra. I thought that perhaps I'd ask Mr. Softee to drive slowly in front of me for 40 minutes, the siren song of his ice cream truck just out of my grasp. I realized that was unlikely, as I'd never find a Mr. Softee that amenable to my plight. In search of another option, I decided I just needed a scenery change - I decided to head south to my old stomping grounds of Long Beach, to take a run by the beach. This was my last first run of the training that took place outdoors, and I was convinced that it would be my best run yet. I was wrong. Firstly, my iPod + Nike chip was, you guessed it, not working, so I was immediately sent off the deep-end. I hoped that my rage would carry me through the bulk of my run, but all I kept focusing on was the down payment I had spent on these damned chips. Like most things in my life, I started off strong, but faded quickly (read into that what you will). I also realized something I had long suspected - I have absolutely no running technique.
When I run in the gym, I strategically place myself on a treadmill that is nowhere near a mirror. In everyone way that I am vain, seeing myself nearly have a heart attack is something I don't really need to watch. I don't want to know how bad I am at this, and I end up feeling bad for the people in the gym who have to be involved in watching me struggle. It's sort of the same way I feel about making a sex tape. Plus, there are no flattering angles.
However, as I was trotting down the boardwalk on Long Beach, I ran by a building with windows and caught my reflection. What I saw nearly stopped me in my meager tracks in shock. I looked like what I can only describe as a descendent of Godzilla, stomping around the Long Beach boardwalk. It made so much sense that the old Japanese couple bolted to the other side of the boardwalk when they saw me coming - and why Mothra wouldn't leave me alone. I don't so much run as I stomp. I feel like I should be shouting Fe Fi Fo Fum as I come storming down the road.
To remedy this, I sort of suspected that my form was a little off, but not to that extent. I worked on actively correcting it. The problem with that was that it forces me to move at a faster pace, which I'm not really ready for, physically. Although my form improved, I could only keep that up for a few minutes (approximately, one song) until I'd have to work for a few minutes (approximately, one song). I felt utterly defeated. This was the first time I had walked during a run for the entire week of training, and considered myself an epic failure. Perhaps that's a little harsh for an overweight (technically obese), out-of-shape/never-in-shape guy who is training for a marathon on a whim, but it still hurt.
However, by the time, the forty minutes was up (I was already on my way to my car), I had actually gone over 3 miles, and was at my usual 14-minute-mile pace. Which bucked me up a little bit. As this week winds down, I'm thinking next week's training will incorporate this run/walk schedule, until I get a little surer on my feet. I wonder if it might actually improve my time. We shall see.
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
I have no idea. My iPod crapped out.
The Food:
Day energy balance:357 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 536 average burn with activities = 893 total daily
calorie loss Bottom Line: you consumed 2771 and burned 536 calories. To meet your plan of 2530 calories (losing 1079 calories) you need to exercise more by 186 calories.
At this rate you will be losing about 4¾oz daily, or about 1.8lb each week, or about 7.7lb monthly.
Day Highlights
You've burned 536.0 calories!
Congratulations: 0g of trans fat is less than 1% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Low cholesterol: 243mg, staying under 300mg.
29g of sat fat provided more than 7% of calories. Keeping it lower will reduce risk of heart desease.
You consumed 5081mg of sodium; the recommended range is 1,500 - 2,300mg.
My sodium in-take is ridiculous.
The Workout:
45 minutes, about 3.2 miles - 14-minute mile pace.
The Picture:
My new iPhone doesn't have a flash. Sorry =(
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Thursday, June 18, 2009
Day 3: Calves of Steel
This is the last busy week of work, with my events wrapping up this weekend, so it's been a little difficult fitting in training with the motivational propaganda of my day-to-day work life. Yesterday was a prime example. After I went and bought my 5th, and so-help-me-God-I-will-go-to-Cupertino-and-murder-someone-if-I-have-to-buy-another-one final iPod + Nike chip I had a meeting to get to from 7 pm until whenever. Not exactly conducive to marathon training. Nor the new 6-day a week full-body workout I've decided to add. Please see my initial post about failing or succeeding on big levels.After the last few days, I had decided that I must, must hit the road to run, and not be stuck in the gym. So I went to Dick's Sporting Goods to buy some contraption to put the iPod + Nike chip into. Granted, it felt a little counterintuitive to try to purchase something to support the iPod + Nike chip, since the inanimate object has, over the past few days, become my archnemesis. I now totally understand everything that John Connor feels when battling the Terminators. I asked a young gentleman at the store where one could find a iPod + Nike chip condom, and he informed me that not only did no major stores carry them, that they are sort of illegal (Apple owns the patent - I don't know for what, possibly anything that is oval-shaped) to sell. Whoops.
Since, I am a big fan of spending money I don't actually have unnecessarily (I could actually be the poster-child for the country's current economic crisis) I thought this might be a great time to buy a pair of Nikes. This would solve multiple problems - it would get me some new running sneakers, which I'm actually in desperate need of. I would be able to securely store the Nike + iPod chip comfortably - I like to keep my friends close, and my enemies closer. However, I know that Nikes are terrible for running - I've tried before, and it ended with shin splints and general feelings of anger and resentment. In a shocking change of events I decided to buy the black market chip condom and forsake the $200 sneakers that feel like cement blocks. Score one for internal growth.
With that detour out of the way, I made it to the gym. It was too late and cold to run outside - and I was ill-prepared. I did have a shirt, a pair of shorts, extra running shoes and a sweatshirt in the car, but incidentally, no running route. To the gym I went. The treadmill was a little rough, and I felt a little deleted when I had to walk (at a brisk pace) for a minute at a time for five minutes. I was vindicated however, but running a few minutes at a faster pace (this is generally why I like to run on the road instead of the gym) and still ended up running the 40 minutes at an average pace of just over 14-minutes per mile. Granted, this isn't bragging, it just is. I'm hoping next week to run slightly faster, but right now I'm just trying to get used to running for that amount of time. Realistically, my goal is to run at a 12 - 13 minute-mile pace which would put me between 5 1/2 - 6 hour marathon pace. Even more realistically, I just want to finish the damn thing before they stop giving out medals, and it's just my mom and my sister in the dark waiting for me with flashlights at the finish line.
After the 40 minutes, I did 4 speed drills. I love a good sprint, because despite my size, I'm pretty fast. Anyone who has met either myself, my father or my grandmother, knows that, in the words of my little buddy, Kerry Cook, our calves are sculpted from granite, (as opposed to the rest of our bodies that are molded from Jell-O). I ran 30 seconds at a 7.0, walked for a minute / 30 seconds at a 7.5, walked for a minute / ran 30 seconds at an 8.0, walked for a minute / ran 40 seconds at an 8.5, walked for a minute / died from exhaustion.
Realizing that running is only going to get me so far, I've adopted an 8-week full-body training program, assuming that the less I weigh, the easier it'll be to haul myself 26.2 miles. This was the first day and it involved two circuits of 10 reps of each exercise (squats, dumbbell bench press, dumbbell lunges, seated cable rows, One-Leg Dumbbell Calf Raises, 20 crunches). I'm not a big weight-lifting guy, and I've always been particularly self-conscious about using the machines/weights at the gym. I just assume that everyone there is staring at you, silently judging how much you could bench or your lack of knowledge as to form, conduct, etc. My worst fear would be for someone - a trainer or a fellow gym rat - to come up to me and tell me I was doing something wrong. My only course of action at that point would be to leave the gym and never return. And that's just a bad investment. But a couple of years ago, I did pay an astronomical amount of money for a trainer, and thanks to Wally (his name was actually, Rich, but we called him Wally in my office - for no discernible reason), I have a much better understanding of what I'm doing. Thanks, Wally! Furthermore, I realized that no one cares about anyone other themselves or the exceptionally attractive at the gym. Flying under radar at the gym is one of the very few perks of being out of shape.
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
Several Ways to Die Trying - Dashboard Confessional
I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked - Ida Maria
One - Mary J. Blige feat. U2
Don't Stop Believin' - The Cast of Glee
Sequestered In Memphis - The Hold Steady
Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Know Your Enemy - Green Day
The '59 Sound - The Gaslight Anthem
Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry
Break Your Heart (live) - Barenaked Ladies
The Food:
Day energy balance:766 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 626 average burn with activities = 1392 total daily
calorie loss
Bottom Line: you consumed 2362 and burned 626 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 1392 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 337 calories. At this rate you will be losing about 7oz daily, or about 2.8lb each week, or about 11.9lb monthly.
Day Highlights
You've burned 626.0 calories!
You had more than 38g of dietary fiber recommended for men up to age 50.
Congratulations: 7g of sat fat is less than 7% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Congratulations: 0g of trans fat is less than 1% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Low cholesterol: 68mg, staying under 300mg.
Include at least 5 grams of fiber in your breakfast to help meet fiber and weight control goals.
You consumed 2837mg of sodium; the recommended range is 1,500 - 2,300mg.
The Workout:
Time: 40:13 seconds
Avg. Min/Mile: 14:17
Mileage: 2.84
Calories: 382
I do think, however, the treadmill needs to redefine it's definition of the word "great":
The Picture:
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Day 2: You're Never Going to Believe This...
Day 2 of my training was an even bigger disaster than my first day. I realize at this point I sound a bit like Debbie Downer (Eddie Irritable?), but I really have yet to catch a break. And so, begins the next chapter in the saga of Eddie vs. the Nike + iPod Running Chip. I am a big fan of running outside. Firstly, for training purposes, it's easier to pace yourself on an outdoor run, rather than having to keep a steady pace on a treadmill. Secondly, I'm not a huge fan of the gym. Beyond my own personal self-confidence issues and gym etiquette ineptitude (so what you're saying is that I have to wipe down my bench, but it's cool to wear mesh tank tops and spandex? Something about that seems off...), is the dingy, dirty feeling I get whenever I go to the gym. It's not the fault of Planet Fitness - they run a nice operation - but every time I leave my gym workout, I feel like I need a shot of penicillin to ward off the STDs I've inevitably contracted from merely touching the same equipment as the gentlemen working on their upcoming gun show, and the ladies who seem a little too at home on the machines that work their thigh muscles. This is why I invested in the Nike + iPod running chip. It is quite simple: you put the chip in your shoe and attach another chip to your iPod Nano and it will keep track of your pace, mileage and calories burned. Delightful, no? I bought my first Nike running chip 2 years ago. I lost it. Not surprising. I then bought a replacement chip. It broke. I purchased another chip a couple of months ago. I went for one run with it and the chip fell out of my shoe. As luck would have it, I found it on the street but it wasn't working. As marathon training approached, Jilly picked one up for me at the Nike Factory outlet. I attempted using it for the first time on my first day of training - and it didn't work. So on Day 2, I traveled at lunch all the way to Best Buy and bought a new chip. I also bought a special watch that you wear to control the music selection on your iPod, thus eliminating the need to move my arm the 6 inches to the left to change songs. Phew.
So four chips down, but I'm feeling good. I'm going to cross-train today at the gym, but first let me calibrate this brand new chip. I walk for .25 miles and it's telling me I'm moving at a 17 - 19 minute mile pace, which is accurate. Great. It's working! Victory! I then decide that since it only takes a 1/4 mile to calibrate the chip for a run (you have to calibrate for both walking and running, separately), I'd show off my Day 2 running skills and run an 8-speed on the treadmill for 1/4 mile (which is roughly a 7 minute mile. Great. Running and calibrating like a champ. Feeling good! I look at the iPod and it's at .19 of .25. No problem. I look again in a minute, and it's still at .19. WTF!?!?! The chip had flown off while I was running! Not 6 hours after I bought it! To make matters worse, I wouldn't accept the fact that it was gone. So I'm walking around the treadmills like a maniac looking under people's machines. I walked around like a madman for a good 15 minutes making several people uncomfortable, before deciding that this was the kind of roadblock which normally result in me giving up. I'm happy to report that I still did my 30 minute cross-training on the elliptical. So what did I do today? I went and bought yet ANOTHER Nike + iPod chip, which coupled with my early upgrade of my iPhone, leaves me as, quite simply, Apple's bitch.
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
Due to my near breakdown over the Nike chip incident, I opted on focusing on the episode of Friends that was on. It was the episode where Monica gets the race car bed and the gang finds out that Janice is cheating on Chandler with her ex-husband.
The Food:
Bottom Line: you consumed 2236 and burned 400 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 1292 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 245 calories.
At this rate you will be losing about 5¾oz daily, or about 2.6lb each week, or about 11.1lb monthly.
Your daily calorie loss of 892 calories is greater than 800 calories, which could be done only if approved by a qualified nutritionist.
Day Highlights
You've burned 400.0 calories!
Congratulations: 13g of sat fat is less than 7% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Congratulations: 0g of trans fat is less than 1% of calories, reducing risk of heart disease.
Low cholesterol: 265mg, staying under 300mg.
You consumed 4502mg of sodium; the recommended range is 1,500 - 2,300mg.
The Workout:
30 minutes on the eliptical / 400 calories burned / 2.00 miles
The Picture (this one's for you, Lauren Koslow!):
Like what you are reading? Show me the love by donating to my Fred's Team NYC Marathon Page! https://fredsteam.mskcc.org/fundraising/Controller?action=userHome&user_id=40160&event_id=128 Read more!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Day 1: Hot Mess
Today, I officially started my 20 week training plan for the NYC Marathon (pause for applause, shock & awe). And let me tell you, it was a rough one. First, I couldn't get out of bed this morning. I've felt this way since I was a little kid, but I honestly and truly feel like I get more tired than anyone else. I realize this is probably untrue, but I've decided to self diagnosis myself with some sort of Epstein Bar/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that is as-yet-undiscovered by the great scientific minds of today. I call it Mouradian Shelf. It's terrible. From there, things only went further downhill...
I trudged through a ridiculous day of work - I work full-time at the American Cancer Society as a Director of Special Events for the event, Relay For Life. This is the tail-end of our busy season, which is like tax season for accountants, minus the laughs. Fortunately, I happen to love my job and my co-workers, but busy is busy.
Regardless, the shit really started to hit the fan afterwork. Today was all about time. I was supposed to run 40 minutes at a slow, moderate pace. No problem. I got home and strapped on my sneakers, before the rain that was threatening all day really blew its wad. I take to the streets and BAM, my Nike + iPod chip isn't working. This was supposed to tell me how fast I was going, how far and for how long. I was devastated. If I have to tell you that I'm not the type of person who needs these kind of hiccups, than you obviously aren't paying attention. Any roadblock on this journey, from a hangnail to a particularly captivating rerun of Small Wonder could send me off the path of the fit and righteous. In my rage I sent my run buddy (although, up until a week ago she was either my couch buddy or booze buddy), Jilly this text message:
Granted, as I was sending the text, I had a feeling it would make it's way into this blog entry, so I went for maximum dramatic effect and proper grammar (to be fair, I like my text messages the way I like my women - clean, effective and not missing any periods). I had walked/run about a mile already, but I wouldn't count that towards my time. After a detour to the Apple Store (I'm like a battered wife) so I could purchase a wristwatch that allows me to control my iPod Nano (technology!) while I run, I headed to the gym - even though I didn't want to run indoors - this was my only course of action...
And I did it! I ran, for the first time in my life, for forty minutes straight. Did I have to chant to myself "you can do it, you can do it, you can do it" quietly under my short gasps for air? Yes. Did I need an ice bath afterwards? Yes. Did I sweat like Whitney Houston and Magic Johnson's lovechild (who, now that I think of it, probably exists)? Yes. Did I only run a 14-minute mile for forty minutes? Yes. But I did it. If the feeling I got after completing that relatively pathetic 40 minutes is any slight indication of what I will feel when I complete the marathon - then sign me up. Wait. I already am signed up. In that case sign me up for not quitting in two weeks like I assumed I would.
Sorry, no pics, but let me tell you, I was a hot, sweaty mess. I'm trying to work something out where I can actually use my webcam, so you can see the horror afterwards. Stay tuned.
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
I'm a big fan of running to a variety of songs. I like some hip-hop and rock that gets me super pumped. But I also like songs that have a strong trajectory - a song that starts off slow and then has a big build. One of my favorite songs to run to is Mary J.'s cover of "One" because when she goes all church on it at the end, you can't help but keep going.
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Testify - Common
Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry
I Know, I Know, I Know - Tegan & Sara
Sequestered in Memphis - The Hold Steady
Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks - Don't Judge Me! You Don't Know My Life!
Best of You - Foo Fighters - My favorite song to run to.
Cry Baby (live) - Allison Iraheta
Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester
Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event - My new favorite song of all-time this week.
I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked - Ida Maria
The Food:
Day energy balance:
845 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 581 average burn with activities = 1426 total daily calorie loss
Bottom Line: you consumed 2283 and burned 581 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 1426 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 520 calories.
80 ounces of water.
At this rate you will be losing about 7oz daily, or about 2.9lb each week, or about 12.2lb monthly.
The Workout:
40 minutes / 400 calories burned / 2.85 miles
Like what you are reading? Show me the love by donating to my Fred's Team NYC Marathon Page! https://fredsteam.mskcc.org/fundraising/Controller?action=userHome&user_id=40160&event_id=128 Read more!
I trudged through a ridiculous day of work - I work full-time at the American Cancer Society as a Director of Special Events for the event, Relay For Life. This is the tail-end of our busy season, which is like tax season for accountants, minus the laughs. Fortunately, I happen to love my job and my co-workers, but busy is busy.
Regardless, the shit really started to hit the fan afterwork. Today was all about time. I was supposed to run 40 minutes at a slow, moderate pace. No problem. I got home and strapped on my sneakers, before the rain that was threatening all day really blew its wad. I take to the streets and BAM, my Nike + iPod chip isn't working. This was supposed to tell me how fast I was going, how far and for how long. I was devastated. If I have to tell you that I'm not the type of person who needs these kind of hiccups, than you obviously aren't paying attention. Any roadblock on this journey, from a hangnail to a particularly captivating rerun of Small Wonder could send me off the path of the fit and righteous. In my rage I sent my run buddy (although, up until a week ago she was either my couch buddy or booze buddy), Jilly this text message:
My stupid f-ing Nike chip isn't working... I hate running! I hate the marathon! And I hate all apple and apple related products!
Granted, as I was sending the text, I had a feeling it would make it's way into this blog entry, so I went for maximum dramatic effect and proper grammar (to be fair, I like my text messages the way I like my women - clean, effective and not missing any periods). I had walked/run about a mile already, but I wouldn't count that towards my time. After a detour to the Apple Store (I'm like a battered wife) so I could purchase a wristwatch that allows me to control my iPod Nano (technology!) while I run, I headed to the gym - even though I didn't want to run indoors - this was my only course of action...
And I did it! I ran, for the first time in my life, for forty minutes straight. Did I have to chant to myself "you can do it, you can do it, you can do it" quietly under my short gasps for air? Yes. Did I need an ice bath afterwards? Yes. Did I sweat like Whitney Houston and Magic Johnson's lovechild (who, now that I think of it, probably exists)? Yes. Did I only run a 14-minute mile for forty minutes? Yes. But I did it. If the feeling I got after completing that relatively pathetic 40 minutes is any slight indication of what I will feel when I complete the marathon - then sign me up. Wait. I already am signed up. In that case sign me up for not quitting in two weeks like I assumed I would.
Sorry, no pics, but let me tell you, I was a hot, sweaty mess. I'm trying to work something out where I can actually use my webcam, so you can see the horror afterwards. Stay tuned.
The Breakdown of the Day:
The Playlist:
I'm a big fan of running to a variety of songs. I like some hip-hop and rock that gets me super pumped. But I also like songs that have a strong trajectory - a song that starts off slow and then has a big build. One of my favorite songs to run to is Mary J.'s cover of "One" because when she goes all church on it at the end, you can't help but keep going.
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Testify - Common
Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry
I Know, I Know, I Know - Tegan & Sara
Sequestered in Memphis - The Hold Steady
Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks - Don't Judge Me! You Don't Know My Life!
Best of You - Foo Fighters - My favorite song to run to.
Cry Baby (live) - Allison Iraheta
Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester
Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event - My new favorite song of all-time this week.
I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked - Ida Maria
The Food:
Day energy balance:
845 less calories than personalized USDA DRI + 581 average burn with activities = 1426 total daily calorie loss
Bottom Line: you consumed 2283 and burned 581 calories. Your daily calorie loss of 1426 calories exceeds the planned calorie loss by 520 calories.
80 ounces of water.
At this rate you will be losing about 7oz daily, or about 2.9lb each week, or about 12.2lb monthly.
The Workout:
40 minutes / 400 calories burned / 2.85 miles
Like what you are reading? Show me the love by donating to my Fred's Team NYC Marathon Page! https://fredsteam.mskcc.org/fundraising/Controller?action=userHome&user_id=40160&event_id=128 Read more!
Everyone Is Skinny at the Prom
In the interest of keeping my public meltdown going, I recently unearthed a bunch of my prom pictures from, ugh, 1999. Ten years ago. One decade! This was inspired by four of the kids I work with, Corey, Abby, Hunter & Jason, who recently went to their own high school prom. It obviously made me nostalgic - and suicidal. I am running a marathon as a last resort to lose weight and get in shape (and to raise money for cancer research - blah, blah, blah), but instead am reminded of the ugliest truth of all. I'm not only out of shape and about to run a grueling 26.2 miles - I'm also old? In the words of my father: "I really didn't need this right now." I've now posted these pictures on the refrigerators at both my office and my work with signs that reads:
The obvious concern here is that I live alone (although, I do have a leprechaun by the name of Craig crashing with me for the next couple of weeks) and I would have to tell myself to stop from going Anna Nicole on the icebox - and the last thing I need is a mental breakdown a la Jan Brady. I think I might rig something up, so every I open the fridge at home a really, really hot girl's voice says: "Would you rather have the fried Chicken Breast or mine? Stop eating." I'm just concerned that this will lead to an unhealthy sexual compulsion towards food. I don't want to get turned on every time I drive past a Popeye's.
Regardless, revel in what 10 years of hard living can do to a person...
Read more!
I Can Do It...
Tomorrow is my first day of training for the marathon, so I thought the best way to prepare was to order $40 worth of Domino's Pizza and lay about for the bulk of the day. Now it's after midnight and I'm watching True Blood for the second time (because the last 15 minutes of the 9:00 showing got all f-ed up) and I'm not feeling like doing a whole lot tomorrow...
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it, I probably can't do it, but I at least want to try, because if I don't try, I'll never know for sure. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Read more!
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it, I probably can't do it, but I at least want to try, because if I don't try, I'll never know for sure. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Read more!
Friday, June 12, 2009
My Mother Is The Reason I Believe I Can Do Ridiculous Things That I Can't Actually Do (Like Run a Marathon)
My parents are, at the end of the day, no matter how much I make fun of them (and at times it's merciless - hey, I like an easy target), two of the greatest people on this planet - and according to my friends, quite possibly, the two cutest. They're the most supportive parents a guy could have - they are the reason that I think I can do things like sign up for a marathon and run it 20 weeks from now, because my mother never always makes outlandish statements that there isn't anything I can't do (see also: Summer Hope Foundation, The). Well, mom, I hate to prove your wrong, but I, much like Dwight K. Schrute, can't pulverize my own kidney stones. Whether or not I can run a marathon, remains to be seen.
So I struggled with whether or not I should share the e-mail that my mom wrote me after I announced that I was running the marathon. On the one hand,it's written with the Bulgarian accent she doesn't think she has when she speaks, none the less writes (my mother, like all of the generation above me in my family, is Bulgarian born), and posting it could be misconstrued as mockery. And, well, it should - but in its slight ribbing of my mother, the e-mail also encapsulates the spirit of our mother-son relationship: Pure heart, unconditional love, mixed together with a little bit of sarcasm, and a heaping dash of overbearing. Thanks, Mom!
Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GULP - IS RIGHT!!!! IF ANYBODY CAN DO IT YOU CAN I AM SURE!!!! You check with the Dr that you can do this – right? Do you have enough time to train, people train for years, are you running with somebody? GOOD LUCK!!!!!Read more!
YOU AMAZE ME SOMETIMES... OR AT LEAST MOST OF THE TIME... IN A NICE WAY MOST OF THE TIME.
Love,
Mom
Training Schedule
The fun parts of deciding to run a marathon when you are comically unprepared for it are, of course, the attention, the praise, motivation and general shock and awe. Unfortunately, that lasts for approximately five or six e-mails. After that, the cold heartless bitch called reality comes to bite you in the ass and remind you that there is more to this than just accolades. There is running. A lot. Like a marathon's worth. After the jump is my training plan. Gulp.
Here is my training plan. It seems pretty reasonable - it's the same rough plan that Tara used when she was the first Ed's Team For Fred's Team runner four years ago. Granted, Tara is more or less chiseled out of stone (her kick-ass physique, not her heart- she's just a doll in real life) - but it's what I have to go with. Her sister, Jill and cousin, Heather, who are also running the marathon this year, are using the same training plan, so I feel confident that I should, at the very least, be able to fake my way through the training process. My fear is that the recurring dream I have about making it to the finals of American Idol only to come to the realization that I can't sing a note right before I go on stage for the finale, is what's going to happen with the marathon. I'm going to half-ass it and convince myself that I'm totally prepared for this, and then I'm going to be standing on the Verrazano Narrows Bridge ready to start the race and realize that the walk from the car to the starting line gave me shin splints and, oh yeah, I hate running. I'm sure a lot of first-time marathoners have these kind of panic attacks - but I just don't want to let the nerves get the best of me, and they are - before I've even started. Furthermore, if I have to make a trip all the way to Staten Island for nothing, I'm going to be really pisst off. I will not going to let the least powerful of all the boroughs get the best of me! Added bonus for those people who interact with me, please note the days and times where my runs will cause me to be a particularly unbearable douchebag. You've been warned.
Read more!
Here is my training plan. It seems pretty reasonable - it's the same rough plan that Tara used when she was the first Ed's Team For Fred's Team runner four years ago. Granted, Tara is more or less chiseled out of stone (her kick-ass physique, not her heart- she's just a doll in real life) - but it's what I have to go with. Her sister, Jill and cousin, Heather, who are also running the marathon this year, are using the same training plan, so I feel confident that I should, at the very least, be able to fake my way through the training process. My fear is that the recurring dream I have about making it to the finals of American Idol only to come to the realization that I can't sing a note right before I go on stage for the finale, is what's going to happen with the marathon. I'm going to half-ass it and convince myself that I'm totally prepared for this, and then I'm going to be standing on the Verrazano Narrows Bridge ready to start the race and realize that the walk from the car to the starting line gave me shin splints and, oh yeah, I hate running. I'm sure a lot of first-time marathoners have these kind of panic attacks - but I just don't want to let the nerves get the best of me, and they are - before I've even started. Furthermore, if I have to make a trip all the way to Staten Island for nothing, I'm going to be really pisst off. I will not going to let the least powerful of all the boroughs get the best of me! Added bonus for those people who interact with me, please note the days and times where my runs will cause me to be a particularly unbearable douchebag. You've been warned.
Read more!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Pre-Training Training
I signed up for the NYC Marathon weeks ago, and being the intense procrastinator that I am, I figured I wouldn't start training just yet - but rather spend the proceeding month pre-training, which is a term I very well may have just made up. Instead of doing a 24 week training program, I figured I'd just head to the gym and see what my running limits were. Apparently, my 85 year old grandmother and I don't just share chiseled calves you could crush a walnut with (seriously, my grandmother's calves are no joke), but also a similar threshold for running. As a 28 year old man, I never thought I'd compare my stamina to that of my grandmother's but, well, here we are. Work has been extremely busy, but I was trying to get into the gym a few days a week and start running - just to dip my toes in the water. It didn't got very well... First off, here is one of the main reasons that I want to run this marathon - it's a no-turning-back way to lose weight. I know, I know, I know - any book you read about marathon training will tell you that using the marathon as an excuse to lose weight is a bad, bad idea. But I'm full of bad ideas. And I think those books are wrong because the people who are writing them RUN MARATHONS so what would they know about needing to lose weight? Suck it, Hal Higdon (that's a marathon runner joke - because he's like the
Now I can only imagine what many of you must be thinking - how did this happen!?!? Well, most of you are thinking that - my mother can't believe that I would put pictures of my bedroom looking like that on the internet. For the rest of you, trust me, I was right there with you. I've watched enough episodes of The Biggest Loser to know that I had some serious self-hate issues, and that I was overeating because I wasn't hugged enough and didn't think I was worth a damn! Or maybe I was repressing some kind of child abuse and acting out through eating? Or quite possibly, the problem could've been my love for 2 for $3 Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuits from McDonald's and a complete lack of self-control. I'm not sure, which of these was the problem, but I decided to get proactive and hit the Wii Fit with a vengeance, but, uhh, let's just say that didn't go so great either...
Next, I decided to take my pre-training training regimen to the local gym and see what I come up with as far as running on the treadmill. It was a disaster:
And for all that trouble - this was my best time:
The worst part is, after building up to that whopping 15 minute mile base, I haven't been to the gym in about a month. So I'll be starting from scratch when my real training starts on Monday, June 15th. Yikes.
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