Day 42: 9 Down... Way, Way Down

On Sunday, I was to run 9 miles. It would be the longest run of my career (you'll be hearing that a lot, and very often). I was excited, to be honest, to get that kind of mileage under my belt. It seemed inconceivable to me, almost as if the Dread Pirate Roberts had tricked me into drinking poison. After today, I would have run OVER 1/3 of the entire NYC Marathon. I never thought I would make it this far. Unfortunately, I was right (Isn't that ominous? DUN DUN DUN!).

You ever make a bad mistake, and as you're making it, you almost float outside of your body, and see yourself making it, hear yourself making it, but can't do anything to stop yourself from making it? I must imagine this is what Lindsay Lohan or the NY Mets feel everyday. It's certainly what I felt on Sunday, as I hit the streets for 9 miles.

I knew something was up when I couldn't complete more than one mile at a solid pace. If running is 70% mental, I'm at a major disadvantage, because my biggest proponent is my mother (who wasn't available to ride in her car besides me cheering me on) and my biggest detractor is my own mind. Often times, when I'm running, I just stop - for no particular reason, just cause I wanna. I have to remind myself - to keep going, but something inside my switches off. Several times, I've self-diagnosed myself with Adult Attention Defecit Disorder, but I'm scared of medication, and I'm sure my doctor is still trying to work his mind around the Epstein Bar diagnosis I gave myself fairly recently. This general, eventual ennui, is how I am in every aspect of my life. I feel like Evil Willow: "Bored now."

But this was different. This wasn't me being a quitter (which is something I am, fairly often). My whole body felt like it was locked inside itself, and pretty soon I would start speaking with my fluttering eyelids and paint with my two working toes. This was about 1.5 miles in and I should've probably turned back, realizing that this 9 miles wasn't happening. But my stubborness, rears it's misbegotten head at all the wrong times, and I decided to keep going. Every few songs/miles I would give another go at running, but I was getting a horrible pain in my thigh, and every subsequent step felt like another tear in some imaginary fabric being tentatively held together somewhere inside me.

Jilly, has been sidelined with an injury for the past few weeks, and her NYC Marathon bid is rather tenuous right now. Hopefully, she'll be back on track in another week or so, but I feel terrible for her - and I'm not entirely sure I want to do this without her. Granted, we signed up independently of one another, both in honor of her father, the great Ed Cook, but once I knew she was running the marathon as well, for some reason some of the pressure was off. We were going to do this together. Even if we weren't together on the run (Jilly easily outpaced me with her stupid softball training...), I never felt I could do this more than when I knew she was doing it too. However, her injury has scared the crap out of me - because it was likely that I could face the same problem if I kept pushing myself on this particular run. Once I made that connection, I knew there was no further I could go, running. I was giving up, but hopefully, I was going to struggle to waddle another day. The only problem was... I figured this out 4 miles away from my house, in any direction. Ass.

It's not fair, really. I am so used to skating by on wit and cuteness, that when harsh consequences come deservedly my way, I'm sort of stunned. The consequences of my poor training had finally bit me in the ass - or more specifically in my quad. I could hear some cliche, hardened coach from any based on a true story sports movie yelling: "You didn't respect the mileage!" Now how would I break down racial barriers, get the girl and chant Rudy in the stands? I finally limped home - the 9 miles completed, totally defeated.

The Breakdown of the Day:

The Playlist:

There's Not I In Team - Taking Back Sunday

This Town - OAR

Gold Digger - Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx

If It's Over - Mariah Carey

Come Together (live) - Kris Allen

By Your Side - Sade

Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie

Show Me What You Got - Jay-Z

Bloodshot - Jack's Mannequin

Best I Ever Had - Drake

Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls

Please Don't Leave Me - Pink

Cry Baby (live) - Allison Iraheta

Break Your Heart (live) - Barenaked Ladies

Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy

Who's Lovin' You? - Jackson Five

Love Lockdown - Kanye West

Ego (remix) - Beyonce feat. Kanye West

I Only Have Eyes (For You) - The Southland

Now You Tell Me - Jordin Sparks

Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy

Say It Right - Nelly Furtado

Tonight - Jonas Brothers (this is when full disclosure bites you in the ass)

Sky - Joshua Radin feat. Ingrid Michaelson

This Modern Love - Bloc Party

The '59 Sound - The Gaslight Anthem



The Workout:

9 miles / 2:39:14 / 17:41 per mile / 1,371 calories

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