Pre-Training Training

I signed up for the NYC Marathon weeks ago, and being the intense procrastinator that I am, I figured I wouldn't start training just yet - but rather spend the proceeding month pre-training, which is a term I very well may have just made up. Instead of doing a 24 week training program, I figured I'd just head to the gym and see what my running limits were. Apparently, my 85 year old grandmother and I don't just share chiseled calves you could crush a walnut with (seriously, my grandmother's calves are no joke), but also a similar threshold for running. As a 28 year old man, I never thought I'd compare my stamina to that of my grandmother's but, well, here we are. Work has been extremely busy, but I was trying to get into the gym a few days a week and start running - just to dip my toes in the water. It didn't got very well... First off, here is one of the main reasons that I want to run this marathon - it's a no-turning-back way to lose weight. I know, I know, I know - any book you read about marathon training will tell you that using the marathon as an excuse to lose weight is a bad, bad idea. But I'm full of bad ideas. And I think those books are wrong because the people who are writing them RUN MARATHONS so what would they know about needing to lose weight? Suck it, Hal Higdon (that's a marathon runner joke - because he's like the in the marathon world. Note to self: Jokes that need explanations probably don't work so well). As a two-time winner of the illustrious Mike Herr Chubby Challenge, it's embarrassing that I'm once again tipping the scales. The look of horror and shock on the faces of some of my student committee members (and their parents) when I casually mentioned that I was a big deal in High School - as if the very thought of it was tantamount to dogs traveling to mars via a Delorean - certainly didn't help. In case you think that I am being overly dramatic, this is my clothing situation of late:







Now I can only imagine what many of you must be thinking - how did this happen!?!? Well, most of you are thinking that - my mother can't believe that I would put pictures of my bedroom looking like that on the internet. For the rest of you, trust me, I was right there with you. I've watched enough episodes of The Biggest Loser to know that I had some serious self-hate issues, and that I was overeating because I wasn't hugged enough and didn't think I was worth a damn! Or maybe I was repressing some kind of child abuse and acting out through eating? Or quite possibly, the problem could've been my love for 2 for $3 Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuits from McDonald's and a complete lack of self-control. I'm not sure, which of these was the problem, but I decided to get proactive and hit the Wii Fit with a vengeance, but, uhh, let's just say that didn't go so great either...







Next, I decided to take my pre-training training regimen to the local gym and see what I come up with as far as running on the treadmill. It was a disaster:





And for all that trouble - this was my best time:



The worst part is, after building up to that whopping 15 minute mile base, I haven't been to the gym in about a month. So I'll be starting from scratch when my real training starts on Monday, June 15th. Yikes.